There's a new duo in town!

And they are sooooo bad-ass!

The Best Man's Responsibilities, according to Wikipedia

What have I agreed to!?

Apparently it is the best man's job to get the groom to the wedding on time, generally by sleeping in the groom's bedroom the night before.

yikes!

Also...
Stocking the men's room at the reception with mints and soap (I don't think that's in Jordan's budget).

And, best of all:
"a best man must be married, preferably to one wife (!!!) and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice."

LUCKILY i can ignore most of my so-called "responsibilities" because I'm going to look like this:

(Post-script: kudos to the man himself, my #1 responsibility, the bridegroom, for winning a UWO teaching award... see? he can take care of himself. I can take care of my suit.)

I am not dead!!!

...just internet-less!

It's been a wild bunch of days/nights, stomach knots and stomach ice-cream aches alternatively blooming in my guts (nice image), and right now I'm on a fast break from bookstore work, but thought I'd try and salvage what blogg-ish respect I might not have lost yet (because of no updates) by posting pictures of my NEW MONTREAL DIGS! Luckily you've caught me in a moment of excitement (rather than the alternative gloom-and-doom of predicted homesickness) so I can write this with the necessary dose of enthusiasm.

HERE IS MY NEW APARTMENT!
I took these pictures very hastily while the landlord looked on (in french)... so they are not all that great. BUT they are a starting point! You can all see this place for real when you COME AND VISIT ME!!!!

living room-ish area....



BRICK WALL (painted white)!!! with a little window cut into it between the kitchen & the living room!

Bedroom (French reaction: oh la la)




Salle-de-bain-et-litterbox.
Look! An actual bathtub! Montreal apartment: 1. Woodward: 0.


Happy cheery rosey yellow kitchen!

Door to stoop!
Stoop!

Park near apartment, with victorious apartment-hunters posing:



So I officially get the keys July 1st and will officially move in at the end of August... that means anyone who wants a summer road trip extraordinaire should let me know!!!!

KITTEN WARS!!!

VS.

SO i'm in montreal right now with my dear mother, and if you check here you'll see that the city is not exactly welcoming us with open, sunshiney arms... luckily we are hardy folks. No bites on the apartment fishing rod yet BUT this evening we met John di Salvo, aka would-be landlord from heaven, whose beautiful 3.5 plateau apartment was offered to me by its current tenant (Gillian of Concordia MA fame) but taken away again when John's friend got priority.... but John was good enough to usher mom and i into his (WARM AND DRY) laundromat where he drew circles on my montreal map and in the classifieds section of voir. Hopefully tomorrow we will find the apartment of my dreams! But if not, mom and landlordfromheaven conspired to convince me that yes, there are still several months before The Big Move (choke, gasp) in which I can carefully and diligently find somewhere that suits me! This might mean multiple trips to montreal... some of you might expect bribes and begging in the near future, depending on how tomorrow and sunday go...

In other news, not having internet in my London apartment is turning out to be more detrimental to my blog (aka, "The Big Scary Monster That Must Be Fed" -Mark Rayner) than I thought.

Apartment of Awesome! I am coming to find you! LOOK OUT!!!

I asked them to say "Cheese," and this is what they did!

I'm feeling a bit discombobulated because I just listened to UWO's Mark Rayner on CBC talking about blogs - more specifically, he was making fun of people whose blogs were all about their cats. Little does Mark Rayner know that people whose blogs are about their cats are about to inherit the earth! Or, at least, a sweet-ass M-town apartment and a two-year foolproof writing plan. Still, all inheritences aside, I'll admit a bit of jealousy, because Mr. Rayner is one of 145,772,349,888,135+ people who has made it onto CBC because he wrote a book - jealousy comes easily to me, after all, to the point where I should be the first to smooth a "Hi My Name Is..." tag on my shirt at a Jealous People Anonymous meeting... and jealousy, I think, is always worse when you've been blindsided by a bit of news about someone that you never thought you'd hear. I mean, if you already expect someone's romantic/professional/academic success to flick you out of the running, the jealousy is much more manageable. It's welcome, even. Such jealousy is almost a rite of passage, an excuse for an open tab, a sick day, a quintessential quart of ice cream (though I prefer pure, unadulterated, unnatural creamy gooey thickly good chocolate)... and can even spur you towards celebrating small, personal successes. Example: today I kicked ass at using chop sticks. I owned those chop sticks. (Actually they belonged to the restaurant and I had to leave them behind, a longing glance over my shoulder as I left, a kiss in the air...)

I guess what I'm trying to say is... Mark Rayner is jealous of my cats.

ANYWAY so I have two-and-a-half days left at Palais Brock. Yesterday was Dundalk... I got to wear a skirt... talk to some grade five kids about the awesomeness of university (I think I even used the word "awesomeness")... see a fabulous concert.... and hang out with my surrogate Dundalk parents and my all-time favourite skiprope-jumping, art-creating, bathing-suit wearing, gut-busting eight-year old:

...not the mention my all-time favourite living pooch....



Tomorrow, I go hang out with my grams!!! (this means i have to get up ridiculously early, but where grandmas are involved, it's allllll worth it!)

And, just to add some symmetry to my blog WHICH HAS A LOT OF CATS IN IT and ABOUT WHICH IS AM VERY PROUD THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH, here is more of thistle and whisper!

Kitties Galore!

So I found out that to have my camera professionally cleaned would take 3-4 weeks and cost $300. Heart attack!!! SOOOOO I took matters into my own hands and with two watchful kitties nearby I took that baby apart by myself! Unscrewed the plates, scraped out all the crusted-on Bailey's Irish Cream from inside, and snapped it all back together again. Hooray! It works even better now than it did before! I celebrated with a photo shoot of the little monsters you see here. They celebrated by eating the Globe and Mail. Literally.

Also random people keep sending me messages on my phone asking if I'll be their friend! What the hell? I know I'm popular, but come on! Now I know how a celebrity must feel. Maybe this means I am a celebrity! The phone is Nokia from Rogers... anybody know how to block all these people?

Every relationship needs a First Fart.

So I watched this movie tonight and while I didn't fall in love with the love affair (boderline lame with a detestable female lead) I did fall in love with the guy's Montreal apartment!!!! Sign me up! There were some touching (meganified) moments though... like when the girl toots as the guy steamrollers her! Golden.




Also I did the "couple's sleep pose" test and surprise surprise mine is this:

not as romantic as Jen's, but appropriate, I suppose. and the questions they ask are worth the possibility of a slightly depressing result! go do it. (you heard me)

22 years old and a woman (I am told)

HOLY COW IT HAS BEEN A WHOLE WEEK SINCE I'VE UPDATED!!!

but you must understand that I have just moved not only into my new apartment BUT ALSO into my sister's house, just for this week, to look after these two beasties while the usual sentries are promenading across Italy:

please make the privileged acquaintance of...
Thistle:

And her partner in crime (and I do mean crime), the lovely Whisper:

These pictures are deceptive in their portrayal of happy calmness, though... these cats are W-I-L-D with a capital CRAZY. I'd say this is a better representation of my wee charges:















All the food in the house has to be either very closely guarded (I'm talking shoulders hunched, arms looped around the plate, eyes sweeping from side to side) or else locked away, and mealtime for the kitties involves an elaborate game of Red Rover as Whisper must be kept from charging past me to devour Thistle's grub! Still, they are loveable little beasties... catch them in the right mood and they will climb all over you, curl into little tight fists of fur and purr, and make you feel like the center of their world! (which, granted, you are, since you are the one with the necessary opposable elements for opening cupboard doors and doling out goodies). Thistle even spent most of last night curled against me under the covers (don't tell Tycho!)... that is, until she morphed from housecat to panther and stalked my feet from 2-4am. I am giving them lots of genuine love while their parents are vacationing, and I hope they are happy with me!

SOOOO in other news today I bought a cell phone! I am now the proud owner of Chilli, soon to be the central command post of my life. He's still a bit quiet but I'm sure soon he'll be ringing with joy... Here he is, shyly getting used to his new family:

I also have the coolest phone number in the world... to be distributed upon request.
SO in the last year I've bought (1) an iPod, (2) a digital camera, and (3) a cell phone. I am officially modern! Of course, most people owned these things years ago, but if you factor in my roots and income I think I come out as fairly progressive! Also I am comforted to know that Derek owns none of these things... this means that (1) I can single-handedly manipulate his musical input, (2) he can't take and immediately post any incriminating pictures of me, and (3) I can monopolize his social life!

My hot pad in London is so fantastic... I'm in Waterloo for only a week, but I'm already homesick for my new digs! And for my little T-bot! Seriously, the apartment is kicking ass, especially right now when the reality of being in charge of everything (including all the mess, I know) still hovers at "blissful". The place is brand spanking new but already several hot items have been spotted fraternizing inside:



That is all for now! This is a slightly lonely but digitally comforting weekend and I must go explore it. I haven't got internet at my apartment (I'll just mooch of Western's wireless for the summer) but while I'm at Bronwyn's place I have plenty of free time with connection to the inter wubs, so barring any unforeseen events (ie. cats eat my laptop) there should be more updates to come!