The Age of Growing Older

So last time the D-man was here in Montreal, we were getting ready to go out and meet another couple for dinner at a restaurant, and D observed how "grown up" that felt... like we had graduated from the stage of sloppy, spontaneous dinners to that of carefully arranged rendez-vous' with other busy people. (Of course, all of that "grown up" feeling was a bit eroded when we got to the restaurant and saw the giant and very well-endowed mannequin sporting short shorts in its street window). Anyway, lately I've been doing things like throwing dinner parties, and going to see my acting friends perform, and working in an office, and having glasses of wine with dinner... all which seem like very grown-up things. This is good because lately I've been causing myself some anxiety (I always find a way), this time about a mystical place called the "real world" that supposedly exists after school is over and the next thing begins (which might happen as soon as a year from now!). And it has recently dawned on me: a lot of my night tremors about the "real world" come from the fear that I won't know how to make friends in it! I'm so used to rooting out friends in a university setting ... I know how it works, and I'm good at it! I mean, you start a university degree, and it's like all your friends are already there, just waiting for the magic to happen! There are invitations to parties! And gossip clusters in the TA office! Drinks after class! Air guitar every other day! Society meetings and conference planning and literary discussions! Do all of those things exist outside of university? Of course they do! But try telling that to my 3am brain that always starts missing things before they're even over! Stupid 3am brain. I guess the thing I always forget is that the friends I have now, in university, aren't going to vaporize the minute we fall exhausted onto the floor after defending our thesis(es). They will last for a long time! Especially my posse of ladies! Last weekend, said posse spent all of Saturday afternoon and evening guzzling smoothies and eating baked goods and introducing each other to great movies (as in, OH MY GOD YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THAT?! WE'RE RENTING IT RIGHT NOW!!!), and at the end of it all I came home with a belly full of love... love, and brownies...

Me after my first tentative sip of the coconutty, supersweet, deliciously cold Megan vodka special:

Ah man, enough nonsensical ranting... I really just wanted to put up this picture of Tycho hanging out in his apartment, but felt like I had to pad this post with some actual text. But anyway, here he is! Look at him! So chill and polkadotty.


This summer in Montreal is off to a great start, and it looks especially good from where I am perched right now. Thesis is garnering support from influential corners (namely, my supervisor), office job is going suspiciously well (I still feel like I'm constantly on the verge of forgetting to do something really important), I'm going to a BBQ on top of the mountain tomorrow evening and the weather is supposed to be fiiiiiine, then Sunday is more time with the ladies (see above), and, best of all, D arrives in Montreal on Thursday! I feel like it could stay Friday night forever and I would be happy, with so many things to look forward to... but I know it won't last forever... especially because the shenanigans of this week have left me so tired that I feel like my eyes are on fire. Jen, I need some help with my eyes! They burn!

Speaking of Jen, she made an incredible discovery that is seriously messing with my whole perspecitve: visit this website and experience the joy!

Oh yes, and if any of you want a copy of the chapbook, let me know! They're $12... I wish I could give them out for free... but apparently it's important to "break even." I'll sign it for you, though! :)