The sun makes everything extra cold

Yesterday on the bus there were two little wee kiddos behind me eating ice cream cones, and the not-quite-as-little one was wisely explaining to the very-very-little one that ice cream is a good thing to eat right now, because during the winter the sun makes everything extra cold. The very-very-little one, evidently tired of his Mr. Know-It-All big brother, just said "I know that already."

Right now I am trying to decide whether or not to apply for a job as a composition teacher next year and my mind is going in circles! As such, I will do the ol' pro/con approach...

Prose
I would have my verrrry own class to teach! Composition class is for undergrad students who flunk the English Comprehension Test and need to improve their writing skills before they can go on... so it's basically ESL taught by grad students... I would get a list of thirty students and just run with it! Make my own syllabus, design my own assignments, make up fun holidays like Semicolon Tuesday and Comma Splice Friday. And if I find myself kicked out the door of Concordia at the end of this MA stint with nothing but God's accusing finger and disembodied movie-trailer voice saying, "Thou shalt go forth and get a job!" - well, I'll be qualified up the wazoo to teach ESL somewhere. And, of course, a nice side benefit to the whole thing is that I'll make some serious bling!

Connnn(stantines?)
I won't be a TA anymore! I'll be teaching grammar instead of literature - and that seems very blah-y to me, except that I can see the importance of it, especially after marking essays by students who got the green light on the comp test and are supposedly a-okay in the grammar/essay-writing department. (Disclaimer: in case any of my students read this, you are all awesome, and I blame shoddy high school instruction for any grammar mishaps) ... Oh yes, and the marking - I will have tons and tons and tons. Not to mention the amount of time it would take to just set up the course in the first place. My friend V is teaching it this semester... her class is every Thursday night... so basically, from Wednesday morning to 9pm Thursday, we all know better than to ask if she wants to "just hang out." So I would be signing up for a serious time commitment. After this year is over I'll still have two academic classes to take (and my thesis to write), but I'm thinking that maybe I can take one (or possibly even two!) academics over the summer, which would free up next year for workshops and writing. Which means it might be conceivable to teach a class like Comp. But then again, I'm hoping to keep on as an RA, hopefully with Manish... AND I always have this feeling that I'm constantly trying to get extraneous work out of the way, all the reading/writing/thinking for my academic classes and the TA and RA jobs, so that I can get down to what I'm really here for: the writing! It's like running underwater, or running through snow drifts, or just plain running with shoes that are ten sizes too big. Clumsy and slow! So I'd rather not have a "clumsy and slow" year next year. I want it to be a graceful and productive year! Teaching a Comp class could make me feel productive and empowered and experienced, but it could also make me feel overwhelmed and frustrated and exhausted. I guess, realistically, it would probably make me feel all of those things all at once in a big, alcoholic cocktail of contradictory feelings.

But I LOVE contradictory feelings! They have shaped me into the girl I am today.

SO, in conclusion... I don't know what to do! Of course, the decision isn't all mine. I'd have to apply and actually get hired! So maybe all of this grinding brain activity is for naught, since I think there's tough competition for those positions... plus, if I did teach that class, I'd have to curb my use of the ellipsis, and I just don't know if I'm ready for that kind of sacrifice...

Other things on my mind: finding a job for the summer, and finding a new apartment, and finding a way to read these millions of books that I want to read, and and and... but I think this is pretty much everybody's situation right now, more of less. I'm not complaining, just ... ruminating!

Which is why tonight Tycho and I are going to make a pizza, rent some movies, and chill the heck out. Last night was Elise's big birthday shindig, and the night before that was Thursday Fun at mad hatter's, and this Monday night is the CAMERA OBSCURA concert (whoooeee!!!), so - this is the weekend of deep breaths, lots of work, and - hopefully - long sleeps.

THAT'S ALL!

Tycho waits for dinner: